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College Game Q & A

 

College Game Q & A

 

 

If you haven’t already… you need to go check out my College Game Q & A Thread!

There are a lot of questions and answer up there so stop wasting time and go read them now!

ps. keep a look out for a college game product coming soon!

– D


 

 

College Game

 

 

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post 5

Archive for April, 2010


College Game Q & A

 

 

If you haven’t already… you need to go check out my College Game Q & A Thread!
There are a lot of questions and answer up there so stop wasting time and go read them now!
ps. keep a look out for a college game product coming soon!
– D


College Game

 

 

 

 

 

0

post 4

College Game


College Game Q & A

 

 

If you haven’t already… you need to go check out my College Game Q & A Thread!
There are a lot of questions and answer up there so stop wasting time and go read them now!
ps. keep a look out for a college game product coming soon!
– D


College Game

 

 

 

 

 

0

post 47

Lesson of the Week


Addition to Sticking Points, and Game Foundations…

 

 

(if you guys can’t see this picture, comment with your email and I’ll send it to you)
Idk about you guys, but I’m a visual learner. So I like drawing things out and mapping out what I’m doing.
Something Braddock has been doing in his workshops that separates them from all the others is…. Exercises. […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 


Sticking Points

 

 

!  Sticking Points  !

First off, If you haven’t heard Braddock, Mr M, and Rokker’s IVS on sticking points, then I would listen to that, it’s money!! A lot of this is stuff Braddock talks about on the Interview Series, but here’s a break down of Sticking points, how to recognize them, how to solve them, […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 


The Next L.O.T.W. ….

 

 

So the way the Lessons Of The Week are goin to work is this… Every Sunday I’m goin to be postin a new lesson that is decided by you, the voting viewers.
Your votes must be casted (e-mailed to me at Dubbsy@lovesystems.com) by the previous Wednesday 9pm EST. (So for the lesson on […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 


Lessons Of The Week

 

 

Something I’m starting is going to be a Lesson of the week… Every week on the same day (Sunday) I’m going to be writing a lesson of the week… feel free to email me with specific lessons you want to learn, and if it gets enough buzz then I’ll be sure to post it!! […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 

 

 

 

0

post 41

Archive for March, 2010


Addition to Sticking Points, and Game Foundations…

 

 

(if you guys can’t see this picture, comment with your email and I’ll send it to you)
Idk about you guys, but I’ m a visual learner. So I like drawing things out and mapping out what I’m doing.
Something Braddock has been doing in his workshops that separates them from all the others is…. Exercises. […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 


Sticking Points

 

 

!  Sticking Points  !

First off, If you haven’t heard Braddock, Mr M, and Rokker’s IVS on sticking points, then I would listen to that, it’s money!! A lot of this is stuff Braddock talks about on the Interview Series, but here’s a break down of Sticking points, how to recognize them, how to solve them, […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 


Sorry Guys…

 

 

My apologies fellas… I have my family out here (in LA) from NY and I’m going to have to delay this next LOTW until monday or tuesday… Stay tuned!!
– D


My Life…

 

 


The Next L.O.T.W. ….

 

 

So the way the Lessons Of The Week are goin to work is this… Every Sunday I’m goin to be postin a new lesson that is decided by you, the voting viewers.
Your votes must be casted (e-mailed to me at Dubbsy@lovesystems.com) by the previous Wednesday 9pm EST. ( So for the lesson on […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 


Lessons Of The Week

 

 

Something I’m starting is going to be a Lesson of the week… Every week on the same day (Sunday) I’m going to be writing a lesson of the week… feel free to email me with specific lessons you want to learn, and if it gets enough buzz then I’ll be sure to post it!! […]


Lesson of the Week

 

 

 

 

 

0

Addition to Sticking Points, and Game Foundations…

Addition to Sticking Points, and Game Foundations…

If you're having a hard time reading that, comment with an Email address and I'll send it to you

part1

(if you guys can’t see this picture, comment with your email and I’ll send it to you)

Idk about you guys, but I’m a visual learner. So I like drawing things out and mapping out what I’m doing.

Something Braddock has been doing in his workshops that separates them from all the others is…. Exercises. It’s one thing to learn by just hearing theory, and taking down pages of notes…it’s a whole other thing to learn by doing. Now I’m not going to give away his exercises, but we’ve been seeing some outstanding results in the past couple workshops.

So here is an exercise for all of you to do that will help you identify some sticking points… I want you to read that bubble tree and start filling in the next layer or each. So draw it out on your notebook or whatever, and start filling in the tree. So for example… if you take the inner game section, you’d add another layer like this…

Notice how the next level of the tree was added...

Notice how the next level of the tree was added…

Now start filling in your tree…. If you guys get to a specific section and don’t know what to fill in, then BOOM! YOU FOUND A STICKING POINT!
I’m happy to work with you guys on this, so feel free to take screen shots of your trees and send them to me with questions/comments! (to take a screen shot on a mac press: COMMAND + SHIFT + 4 and select what you want to capture)

Tomorrow’s LOTW is on Transitioning… stay tuned!

-D


Lesson of the Week

If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.

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Sticking Points

 

Sticking Points

 

 

!  Sticking Points  !


First off, If you haven’t heard Braddock, Mr M, and Rokker’s IVS on sticking points, then I would listen to that, it’s money!! A lot of this is stuff Braddock talks about on the Interview Series, but here’s a break down of Sticking points, how to recognize them, how to solve them, and what the main ones we see on workshops.

Here we go…

A sticking point is a flaw in your game, it’s the part of your game you don’t have figured out yet.  They make your game look a lot worse than it actually is.  For example you could be great at opening, carrying a conversations, role playing, teasing, qualifying, but awful at going sexual and physical progression, and you’ll look like you have no clue what you’re doing!

Doesn’t that suck! Think of what you’re missing out on.  Just because you have one thing that’s holding you back, you can’t get to all the good shit later down the road.  Now sometimes you can get by and girls will allow you free passes, but that is the exception to the rule, and with 9’s and 10’s, (in cold approach) you will get blown out faster than a New Jersey haircut!

With game it’s important to start from the beginning.  Take a couple days or so to learn the outline of everything; get the 30,000 ft view of what game is, all the steps, what the process is, but DO NOT try to learn it all at once.  Just know the process so you can see how everything starts to relate to each other.  Next you start from the beginning.  Get your Inner Game right… think of this like a Sky Scraper. The building has a foundation (inner game) the framework (fundamentals) and then the levels (steps in the model like opening, transitioning, role playing, teasing, etc…)  You can’t build a sky scraper without laying the foundation.  If the foundation of a building isn’t strong, then a storm or something that sways the building hits, then the building will crumble and fall.  So if your inner game isn’t strong, then you will have emotional sways, ups and downs based on your successes or failures, and your frame won’t be strong, and your subcommunications won’t be right.  Now I used to have a lot of inner game problems, and from living down the street from Braddock, Daxx, Dahunter, and living with Calabrese and Pendrixx, I’ve learned how to fix them.  Braddock’s inner game seminar is ridiculous, the reviews speak for themselves and for anyone wanting to seriously get good at “Game” then Inner Game is a must to develop.

So you’ve layed the foundation, now you build the framework, you learn the fundamentals of game, you learn the steps, what they consist of, the basis of it all and a 30,000 foot view (not a detailed description of each level) of the overall process.  So what is that process? It’s the emotional progression model, laid out step by step. So you learn what the fundamentals are and then you start fillin in the levels.  So you start at the ground floor…anyone guess what that is? Yep! Opening and Transitioning! (start from beginning to end, bottom to top, so bottom is opening, top is relationship management)

Credit Braddock for this analogy…  you gotta build floor one before you build floor two.  Then you gotta build floor 2 before you build floor 3, etc…. So don’t worry/focus on comfort if you can’t open, get opening and transitioning hammered out before you move on to the next step!  So a sticking point is a blank floor.  You could come into all this (learning game and the model) with a great knowledge of teasing and vibing with people, and building comfort, so those levels are already filled in but you’re still missing the bottom levels so people will never travel up to the top floors.

Ok so there’s a general process, lets get into sticking points.

How do you recognize them?

-Lesson Learned (Daxx)

Daxx gave me such a good idea, he recommends that you put a note or section in your phone saying “Lessons Learned”.  Whenever you’re out and you learn something new like “don’t let drunk girls wander away from the table to find their friends (because they’ll get lost or forget to come back!)” and “talk slower” “smile more” etc… so you review these before you go out and it just helps you realize what you’re working on and remember what not to let happen again!

-Where did the set go wrong?

When you get blown out, where did it end? the opener? after a harsh tease? interview mode in qualification? too sexual? Remember what you’re saying and see where things are going awry.  When you start to see it going wrong at specific points then, boom you found a sticking point!

-Where do they tense up?

A good way to gauge how you’re doing in set is to see how a girl’s body language is.  Is she tense, is she edgy, keeping her distance, and look uncomfortable? Or is she smiling and hitting you, dancing and not rigid or locked up.  Do they tense up when you touch them? when you tease them? when you try to go sexual? Always pay attention to what a girls body language is saying rather than what her mouth is. (caveat, a girl says “stop” “no” or something along those lines, you better stop.)

What can you do to solve them?

One of the many things I’ve learned from Braddock is don’t go out with a list of a thousand things to do at once!  You don’t get proficient in any area of life by trying to tackle everything all at one time.  You learn things step by step, treat game the same way.  Break down what you want (a girl friend, fuck-buddies, one night stands, etc…) and then break down each area that pertains to it.  So for more one night stands, for example, you’d limit your comfort and qualification, and up your attraction and seduction skills.  The other ways to solve them is to get feed back from other people working on the same thing.  Go out with wings, tell them to watch you in set, tell them what you’re working on and have them give you feed back.  You can film yourself, give the camera to your wing and have him film you, then watch it later.  You can record yourself, see where you messed up, take note of it and then find the solutions!

This can take a month, a day, two months, a week, however long, but don’t skip over something because you’re not good at it.  Think to yourself… “what is the one thing holding me back from really progressing?” then write down a bunch of things you can think of, identify the top two things and get to work on them immediately!  Most likely they’re going to be the hardest things for you to do, you’ll feel awkward at first, but it’s important to keep at it and don’t let your brain trick you out of doing it.  You brain sees pain as one thing, emotional pain and physical pain are seen the same way in the brain, so you getting anxious and that sunken feeling in your chest about doing something is the same as getting punched in the face, and your brain will steer you away from that.  So say you can’t approach, you’ll get those anxious sunken feelings and your brain will be like, “ok if I don’t want him to do this scary thing all I have to do is make him feel this”, and then it’ll do that every time.  It’s important you break that cycle and do it anyway, so you have control, not your brain!. (credit Braddock for that lesson as well).

So the main way to solve sticking points is to break them down one by one and work on them till you got them under control.

2 Common Sticking Points we see on workshops.

-AA (Approach Anxiety)

Daxx and Braddock have written extensively on this on their blogs, and in their classic writing sections on TAF…and on workshops I’ve seen them take guys with severe AA, who’ve only really opened like 2 sets or less a night, and get them to be an opening machine!! If you haven’t read their posts yet, you need to for sure.

A couple points on AA:

Don’t hesitate.  You see something you want, you get a feeling, it’s a good feeling, it’s that “Damn she’s sexy, I want to talk to her”. Stop right there, don’t have any other thoughts, just think “Damn I want to talk to her” and act.  It’s the thoughts after that that start to mess you up.  Continuing to think only leads to, “what am I going to say?” “what is she going to say?” “Will she like me” etc…  It’s key that you act on your first intention immediately otherwise you get caught up in your head, and you start to spiral downward.

In every area of forming habits (approaching women, eating right, working out, etc..), you’re either going to be spiraling upwards and moving in a positive direction, or you’re going to be spiraling downward in a negative direction.  When you hesitate, you start to spiral downward, getting in your head, then you get annoyed you didn’t open, then you open with nervous sub-communications and get blown out, then you get even further annoyed, until you break the spell, then you get a positive reaction, you use that momentum to open more sets, then you start feeling good about yourself, sets last longer, you get better reactions,  get a number, get a make out, etc…

All that from just not hesitating.
:
Some things that helped me get over AA… “Failing generally means ending up where you started” – you got nothing to lose by approaching… “I’ll regret not doing it tomorrow” – people always regret the things they don’t do, not the things that they actually do…. Accept the frame “It’s not that I can’t do this, it’s that I’m still learning how to do it.”  So no one outcome will determine if you can or can’t do something, you’re just learning the ins and outs of it.  And the last thing that helped me was “Stop acting like a pussy and go talk to girls.” – they’re women, they won’t shoot you if you open them wrong, you don’t go to jail for getting blown out, nobody is going to chop off you dick if you don’t hook 90% of the sets you open.  The only people who make fun of you will be the guys who are too embarrassed to open the girl themselves, otherwise they’d just give you props for trying… so man up and start opening! :-)

-Physical Escalation:

Like everything in game there’s a gradient to touching, start off small, hand shakes-pats on the arm-little playful shoves-high 5’s, and gradually increase the level of intimacy, hugs-grabbing hips-picking her up-floating cresses-pulling hair-grazing her ear as you whisper in it-etc…

The key with physical escalation isn’t to try to run up the ladder as fast as possible, but not to be scared to either.  Break the touch barrier early, shake her hand, then when you make her laugh or she makes you laugh, touch her arm, high five her, marry and hug her.  Remember that just because you get to the top of the ladder doesn’t mean you have to stay there or try to climb higher.  Just because you kissed her doesn’t mean you have to either stay a the “kissing” level or move up to trying to get your hand up her skirt or feel her up in the club.. it’s better to go back down the ladder, then run up, then go down, then run up.  Don’t think that “some might be good, so more must be better” women don’t think like that, they like to miss things and want/crave it.

For someone struggling with touching, be the touchy guy for a while, go out with the goals to master touching.  See where the line is with each girl, where do they tense up when you touch them, why do you think they did it? Chances are you just did it too soon, so you didn’t build enough value in her eyes, or you did it is a creepy way, like not talking while you touched her, or drawing all the attention to it.

Some guys are too touchy, others aren’t touchy enough…the only way to find out is to experiment or have someone available who knows their stuff to give you feed back.  Play with this and see where you end up.

Conclusion:

Fixing one simple thing can could make your game explode and you could be knocking more girls down than Layla Ali!! Remember, a sticking point makes your game look a lot worse than it is, don’t focus on having sex with girls, focus on fixing your sticking points and the rest will happen naturally.  It’s like the saying “Don’t focus on the outcomes, focus on the process.”  Sex is outcomes, Sticking points are the process….

Take a minute and think of and write down what your sticking points are and what they’re holding you back from.  How much is that one or two sticking point(s) costing you?!? How much is it worth to get it fixed?

This concludes this week’s LOTW… next week’s options are:

– Vibing
– How to think
– Transitioning reconstructed

Till next week!

– D


 

 

Lesson of the Week

 

 

If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.

 

 

 

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post 3

 

 

Sticking Points

 

 

!  Sticking Points  !


First off, If you haven’t heard Braddock, Mr M, and Rokker’s IVS on sticking points, then I would listen to that, it’s money!! A lot of this is stuff Braddock talks about on the Interview Series, but here’s a break down of Sticking points, how to recognize them, how to solve them, and what the main ones we see on workshops.

Here we go…

A sticking point is a flaw in your game, it’s the part of your game you don’t have figured out yet.  They make your game look a lot worse than it actually is.  For example you could be great at opening, carrying a conversations, role playing, teasing, qualifying, but awful at going sexual and physical progression, and you’ll look like you have no clue what you’re doing!

Doesn’t that suck! Think of what you’re missing out on.  Just because you have one thing that’s holding you back, you can’t get to all the good shit later down the road.  Now sometimes you can get by and girls will allow you free passes, but that is the exception to the rule, and with 9’s and 10’s, (in cold approach) you will get blown out faster than a New Jersey haircut!

With game it’s important to start from the beginning.  Take a couple days or so to learn the outline of everything; get the 30,000 ft view of what game is, all the steps, what the process is, but DO NOT try to learn it all at once.  Just know the process so you can see how everything starts to relate to each other.  Next you start from the beginning.  Get your Inner Game right… think of this like a Sky Scraper. The building has a foundation (inner game) the framework (fundamentals) and then the levels (steps in the model like opening, transitioning, role playing, teasing, etc…)  You can’t build a sky scraper without laying the foundation.  If the foundation of a building isn’t strong, then a storm or something that sways the building hits, then the building will crumble and fall.  So if your inner game isn’t strong, then you will have emotional sways, ups and downs based on your successes or failures, and your frame won’t be strong, and your subcommunications won’t be right.  Now I used to have a lot of inner game problems, and from living down the street from Braddock, Daxx, Dahunter, and living with Calabrese and Pendrixx, I’ve learned how to fix them.  Braddock’s inner game seminar is ridiculous, the reviews speak for themselves and for anyone wanting to seriously get good at “Game” then Inner Game is a must to develop.

So you’ve layed the foundation, now you build the framework, you learn the fundamentals of game, you learn the steps, what they consist of, the basis of it all and a 30,000 foot view (not a detailed description of each level) of the overall process.  So what is that process? It’s the emotional progression model, laid out step by step. So you learn what the fundamentals are and then you start fillin in the levels.  So you start at the ground floor…anyone guess what that is? Yep! Opening and Transitioning! (start from beginning to end, bottom to top, so bottom is opening, top is relationship management)

Credit Braddock for this analogy…  you gotta build floor one before you build floor two.  Then you gotta build floor 2 before you build floor 3, etc…. So don’t worry/focus on comfort if you can’t open, get opening and transitioning hammered out before you move on to the next step!  So a sticking point is a blank floor.  You could come into all this (learning game and the model) with a great knowledge of teasing and vibing with people, and building comfort, so those levels are already filled in but you’re still missing the bottom levels so people will never travel up to the top floors.

Ok so there’s a general process, lets get into sticking points.

How do you recognize them?

-Lesson Learned (Daxx)

Daxx gave me such a good idea, he recommends that you put a note or section in your phone saying “Lessons Learned”.  Whenever you’re out and you learn something new like “don’t let drunk girls wander away from the table to find their friends (because they’ll get lost or forget to come back!)” and “talk slower” “smile more” etc… so you review these before you go out and it just helps you realize what you’re working on and remember what not to let happen again!

-Where did the set go wrong?

When you get blown out, where did it end? the opener? after a harsh tease? interview mode in qualification? too sexual? Remember what you’re saying and see where things are going awry.  When you start to see it going wrong at specific points then, boom you found a sticking point!

-Where do they tense up?

A good way to gauge how you’re doing in set is to see how a girl’s body language is.  Is she tense, is she edgy, keeping her distance, and look uncomfortable? Or is she smiling and hitting you, dancing and not rigid or locked up.  Do they tense up when you touch them? when you tease them? when you try to go sexual? Always pay attention to what a girls body language is saying rather than what her mouth is. (caveat, a girl says “stop” “no” or something along those lines, you better stop.)

What can you do to solve them?

One of the many things I’ve learned from Braddock is don’t go out with a list of a thousand things to do at once!  You don’t get proficient in any area of life by trying to tackle everything all at one time.  You learn things step by step, treat game the same way.  Break down what you want (a girl friend, fuck-buddies, one night stands, etc…) and then break down each area that pertains to it.  So for more one night stands, for example, you’d limit your comfort and qualification, and up your attraction and seduction skills.  The other ways to solve them is to get feed back from other people working on the same thing.  Go out with wings, tell them to watch you in set, tell them what you’re working on and have them give you feed back.  You can film yourself, give the camera to your wing and have him film you, then watch it later.  You can record yourself, see where you messed up, take note of it and then find the solutions!

This can take a month, a day, two months, a week, however long, but don’t skip over something because you’re not good at it.  Think to yourself… “what is the one thing holding me back from really progressing?” then write down a bunch of things you can think of, identify the top two things and get to work on them immediately!  Most likely they’re going to be the hardest things for you to do, you’ll feel awkward at first, but it’s important to keep at it and don’t let your brain trick you out of doing it.  You brain sees pain as one thing, emotional pain and physical pain are seen the same way in the brain, so you getting anxious and that sunken feeling in your chest about doing something is the same as getting punched in the face, and your brain will steer you away from that.  So say you can’t approach, you’ll get those anxious sunken feelings and your brain will be like, “ok if I don’t want him to do this scary thing all I have to do is make him feel this”, and then it’ll do that every time.  It’s important you break that cycle and do it anyway, so you have control, not your brain!. (credit Braddock for that lesson as well).

So the main way to solve sticking points is to break them down one by one and work on them till you got them under control.

2 Common Sticking Points we see on workshops.

-AA (Approach Anxiety)

Daxx and Braddock have written extensively on this on their blogs, and in their classic writing sections on TAF…and on workshops I’ve seen them take guys with severe AA, who’ve only really opened like 2 sets or less a night, and get them to be an opening machine!! If you haven’t read their posts yet, you need to for sure.

A couple points on AA:

Don’t hesitate.  You see something you want, you get a feeling, it’s a good feeling, it’s that “Damn she’s sexy, I want to talk to her”. Stop right there, don’t have any other thoughts, just think “Damn I want to talk to her” and act.  It’s the thoughts after that that start to mess you up.  Continuing to think only leads to, “what am I going to say?” “what is she going to say?” “Will she like me” etc…  It’s key that you act on your first intention immediately otherwise you get caught up in your head, and you start to spiral downward.

In every area of forming habits (approaching women, eating right, working out, etc..), you’re either going to be spiraling upwards and moving in a positive direction, or you’re going to be spiraling downward in a negative direction.  When you hesitate, you start to spiral downward, getting in your head, then you get annoyed you didn’t open, then you open with nervous sub-communications and get blown out, then you get even further annoyed, until you break the spell, then you get a positive reaction, you use that momentum to open more sets, then you start feeling good about yourself, sets last longer, you get better reactions,  get a number, get a make out, etc…

All that from just not hesitating.
:
Some things that helped me get over AA… “Failing generally means ending up where you started” – you got nothing to lose by approaching… “I’ll regret not doing it tomorrow” – people always regret the things they don’t do, not the things that they actually do…. Accept the frame “It’s not that I can’t do this, it’s that I’m still learning how to do it.”  So no one outcome will determine if you can or can’t do something, you’re just learning the ins and outs of it.  And the last thing that helped me was “Stop acting like a pussy and go talk to girls.” – they’re women, they won’t shoot you if you open them wrong, you don’t go to jail for getting blown out, nobody is going to chop off you dick if you don’t hook 90% of the sets you open.  The only people who make fun of you will be the guys who are too embarrassed to open the girl themselves, otherwise they’d just give you props for trying… so man up and start opening! :-)

-Physical Escalation:

Like everything in game there’s a gradient to touching, start off small, hand shakes-pats on the arm-little playful shoves-high 5’s, and gradually increase the level of intimacy, hugs-grabbing hips-picking her up-floating cresses-pulling hair-grazing her ear as you whisper in it-etc…

The key with physical escalation isn’t to try to run up the ladder as fast as possible, but not to be scared to either.  Break the touch barrier early, shake her hand, then when you make her laugh or she makes you laugh, touch her arm, high five her, marry and hug her.  Remember that just because you get to the top of the ladder doesn’t mean you have to stay there or try to climb higher.  Just because you kissed her doesn’t mean you have to either stay a the “kissing” level or move up to trying to get your hand up her skirt or feel her up in the club.. it’s better to go back down the ladder, then run up, then go down, then run up.  Don’t think that “some might be good, so more must be better” women don’t think like that, they like to miss things and want/crave it.

For someone struggling with touching, be the touchy guy for a while, go out with the goals to master touching.  See where the line is with each girl, where do they tense up when you touch them, why do you think they did it? Chances are you just did it too soon, so you didn’t build enough value in her eyes, or you did it is a creepy way, like not talking while you touched her, or drawing all the attention to it.

Some guys are too touchy, others aren’t touchy enough…the only way to find out is to experiment or have someone available who knows their stuff to give you feed back.  Play with this and see where you end up.

Conclusion:

Fixing one simple thing can could make your game explode and you could be knocking more girls down than Layla Ali!! Remember, a sticking point makes your game look a lot worse than it is, don’t focus on having sex with girls, focus on fixing your sticking points and the rest will happen naturally.  It’s like the saying “Don’t focus on the outcomes, focus on the process.”  Sex is outcomes, Sticking points are the process….

Take a minute and think of and write down what your sticking points are and what they’re holding you back from.  How much is that one or two sticking point(s) costing you?!? How much is it worth to get it fixed?

This concludes this week’s LOTW… next week’s options are:

– Vibing
– How to think
– Transitioning reconstructed

Till next week!

– D


Lesson of the Week

 

 

 

 

Sorry Guys…

 

 

My apologies fellas… I have my family out here (in LA) from NY and I’m going to have to delay this next LOTW until monday or tuesday… Stay tuned!!

– D


My Life…

 

 

 

 

The Next L.O.T.W. ….

 

 

So the way the Lessons Of The Week are goin to work is this… Every Sunday I’m goin to be postin a new lesson that is decided by you, the voting viewers.

Your votes must be casted (e-mailed to me at Dubbsy@lovesystems.com) by the previous Wednesday 9pm EST. ( So for the lesson on 3/21/10 your vote must be in on 3/17/10)

So this L.O.T.W. Is going to be on “Common Sticking Points and How to Overcome Them.”

Stay tuned and on Sunday (3/14/10) check back for your new lesson!!

Holla!!

-D


Lesson of the Week

 

 

 

 

Lessons Of The Week

 

 

Something I’m starting is going to be a Lesson of the week… Every week on the same day (Sunday) I’m going to be writing a lesson of the week… feel free to email me with specific lessons you want to learn, and if it gets enough buzz then I’ll be sure to post it!! Keep in mind that this might be old for some and new to others, if you don’t learn something new in this post, email me with something you’d like to learn about and I’ll throw it up here… Enjoy!!

So to kick it off, here’s your first lesson: Current Step, Next Step; The Formula For Congruency

A lot of times I ask guys on workshops these questions, 1) What do you think went well in that set? and 2) Where did things go wrong? And I’ll get a shit ton of different responses like, well 1) I opened well, didn’t hesitate, smiled, spoke loud and clear, made eye contact, etc.. and then for #2 the answer is almost always the same. “I ran out of things to say after the opener.” Then I’ll ask, “Do you have any of the transitions we gave you memorized, or in your phone for a quick sneak peak?” or even “Did you ask her where she was from or what the occasion was?”, they’ll say yes and recite a stock transition, or say “no I didn’t ask her that.” The problem here is HAVING AN AGENDA.

(This is common in a lot of other stages as well…attraction role plays, teasing her, qualifying questions, Using Braddock’s Trigger words and Inverse Trigger Words, and just through out the entire interaction.)

Having an agenda does a couple things:

– Gets you in your head thinking, ok what do I say next, how am I going to get this girl to give me the outcome I want (a laugh, a smile, to qualify, go to the bar, to kiss me, leave with me, etc..)

– Makes you come across “In-Congruent’” which is a HUGE TURN OFF to women…the basis of game is to be as authentic as possible, with knowing the correct buttons to push on each girl…not memorizing a bunch of lines and routines to “get” girls to act a certain way.

– It show’s that you’re focusing too much on the end result, something that is say, 10 steps down the line.  In life they say, the more you want something the more likely you’ll get it…while this is true, when it comes to dealing with people this statement is anything but true.  Focusing on your end result before/when starting will get you blown out faster than a New Jersey haircut (sorry Calabrese ;-) )

Here’s the simple formula to solve this problem of “HAVING AN AGENDA”:

30,000 foot view ;Current Step ; Next Step.

That’s it…just know a basic structure of the model (open, transitions, attract, qual, etc..) what you’re current step is, and then what your next step is and focus on that.  So instead of thinking… “Damn that girl is hot, I want to talk to her, ok what is my opener, ok what am I going to say next, ok what if she says this, then what will I say, ok then what role play am I going to use, ok how am I going to qualify her, ok, when and how am I going to touch her… etc…” Just think… current step, find hot girl, next step, approach hot girl….then now that you’ve approached you can update your current and next step.  Current step is to transition, next step is to tease/roleplay with her, and follow that model… so now that you’ve gotten into a marriage role play or something, re-assess..

Current step: make jokes of things in the role play, divorce/kids/cooking/family vacations to weird places/how she’s always trying to change you and dress you up/ other shit that married couples go thru

Next step: maybe you’re working on sexual hoops so your current step is to bring up something sexual in your marriage “This would never work out, it’d just be all fights and make up sex” (credit Braddock) and next step

Life is like a Giant staircase, the next step is always lit, but you canâ??t see ten steps up ahead.  So most people want to know what they should do for that 10th step and where they should go, and will think â??Well if I donâ??t know where Iâ??m going I donâ??t want to take the next step.â? But by taking that next step, you light up the next one, and then you take that and then the next one, etcâ?¦

Your brain can only hold one conscious thought at a time, so by telling it to worry about something 10 steps ahead, you’re going to not be able to focus on the current one.

Exercise for you to do… write down your steps… if you’re having trouble, here’s an example of mine:

(me in italics, girl in bold)

Step1: find hot gal

Step2: approach — Hey you are fuckin sexy, who are you? ::: Hi, I’m Jessica

Step3: Dubbsy’s “Dating Transition” — Ok sweet, we got the first date out of the way :-) ::: Haha! First Date?

Step4: Role Play/set sexual frames for Same Night Lay — Yeah I heard it takes girls 3 dates to put out, so I’m just trying to get thru them faster ::: OMG haha, who told you that?I’ve got my sources…so our second date can beeee over there (point and move)… (they usually just smile or laugh here) … So I guess we can get to know each other now, but make this quick I want to get to the 3rd one, I’ve been practicing my kisses

Step5: start qualifying — So who are you, tell me something about you I wouldn’t know just from looking at you (credit Braddock)
Read the rest of this entry »


Lesson of the Week

 

 

 

 

Braddock and Mr. M’s Inner Game Seminar

 

 

I’ve been getting some questions lately along the lines of: “What’s the one thing you’d say is most important in Game?” And with out a second of hesitation my response is two words, Inner. Game.

Inner Game is the difference between 2 guys going up to a girl, both sayin the same shit, and one pulling, and the other one gettin blown out like a New Jersey hair cut.

When you master your inner game, the way you carry yourself and how you see life will change. I know that’s some heavy shit, and is hard work, but it’s extremely rewarding. Braddock and Mr. M have written extensively on the subject on TheAtrractionForums and their blogs: (Braddocks Blog and Mr. M’s blog), they have a full seminar dedicated to it… in fact Braddock just wrote a post recently:

Check out Braddock’s post here

And stay tuned to my blog, I got some new shit in the works that’s coming soon!!

Holla!

-D


Inner Game

 

 

 

 

My Boy Bonsai on Strippers!

 

 

What up fellas!! Merry Xmas!!, happy b-day Jesus, and to the fellow tribe members (jews like me) I’ll see you at the movies…

Something I’ve been getting obsessed with lately is Stripper Game, and one of the LS Dating Coaches Bonsai has been coming out with a lot of awesome material to use and learn! His latest post How to Pick Up a Stripper is fucking awesome, he even made a Mind Map!!

Stripper game is different than regular chick game..you start at a different place in the interaction (not in opening) and you have to break their frame, which is strong since they’re all about a dollar like 4 quarters (any Lil Wayne fans out there??).

I’d recommend you learn stripper game, it’s a great tool to have, it’s only dealing with sexy gals, and they can dance = flexible = crazy shit in bed;). Bonsai is the dude to learn from. Check out his Blog for other tips on Strippers, and Game in general:

Asiandatingcoach.com

He’s a smart dude, and a great teacher… but he can still suck it!! :-P

Happy holidays!!

PEACE!!

-Dubbsy


My Life…

 

 

 

 

Question on Sticking Points

 

 

What’s up people!! My blog is starting to pick up and get more hits these days, so I’m going to be posting a lot more. We get a lot of similar questions in emails and through private messages on The Attraction Forums. If you’ve sent me one and I haven’t answered, I’m sorry, there’s a lot to keep up with… If you want to make sure to get your question(s) answered, email Jeremy@lovesystems.com and set up a phone consultation.

With the permission of Darkcharm from the lounge and forums, I am posting his question and my response so hopefully everyone can take away at least one thing… Ok here’s Darkcharm’s question on some sticking points…

Dubbsy! What’s up man??

A little bit of background: Since the Workshop I have been going out non-stop…3-4 times a week… several hours at a time!! The entire experience was incredibly eye-opening. Before the Workshop I didn’t know how to create attraction and honestly thought that I would NEVER get a girlfriend again (just had gotten out of a three year relationship 4 months prior to meeting Soul)

I have gotten to the point where I can open and hook almost all sets (we all get the ocassional blow out), create attraction while simultaneously qualifying….this leads me to the ability to ‘bounce’ sets as well as create ’solid’ instant-dates and day2’s (obviously, my attraction/qualification aren’t perfect, but they’re getting the job done )Snoop and Souljah Boy – Pronto


My Life…

 

 

 

 

Underground Kangaroo Boxing?

 

 

Going to Sydney for Soul’s Bootcamp, and I couldn’t possibly be more excited!! I’ve never been to Australia, and anytime I get to work with Soul is always fucking awesome and a learning experience.

5.0 will be there too, and I’ve had one of the craziest nights out with him when I was in London!! These two guys are crazy good with women, and both have taught me so much and helped my game grow to extreme levels, so I can’t wait for this Workshop!

All three of us are also giving a Mini-Conference down there on some more advanced topics! Sign up above or at:

http://lovesystemssydney.eventbrite.com/

See you there!! Holla!!

-D


My Life…

 

 

 

 

Free Conference Call!!

 

 

Once and a lifetime opportunity…

Braddock’s Phone and Text Game book is to be release REAL SOON! But before it gets put out there, Savoy and Braddock have decided to do a FREE 90 minute conference call to discuss the intricacies of Phone and Text Game.

There’s only 400 lines available for this so hurry up and Reserve your spot now!!

Braddock has somewhere near 1000 pages of notes on this subject so this call would be like a free one on one lesson with Kobe Bryant on how to dunk a basketball…Don’t be a fool, get on this call now!!

Details:

  • 90 minute call
  • Thursday, December 10th at 6pm PST. Thatâ??s 9pm EST and 2am on Friday Dec 11 GMT
  • http://www.lovesystems.com/call

Till next time, remember, milk promotes healthy bones and prevents osteoporosis

-D


My Life…

 

 

 

0

Sorry Guys…

 

Sorry Guys…

 

 

My apologies fellas… I have my family out here (in LA) from NY and I’m going to have to delay this next LOTW until monday or tuesday… Stay tuned!!

– D


 

 

My Life…

 

 

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The Next L.O.T.W. …

 

The Next L.O.T.W. ….

 

 

So the way the Lessons Of The Week are goin to work is this… Every Sunday I’m goin to be postin a new lesson that is decided by you, the voting viewers.

Your votes must be casted (e-mailed to me at Dubbsy@lovesystems.com) by the previous Wednesday 9pm EST. ( So for the lesson on 3/21/10 your vote must be in on 3/17/10)

So this L.O.T.W. Is going to be on “Common Sticking Points and How to Overcome Them.”

Stay tuned and on Sunday (3/14/10) check back for your new lesson!!

Holla!!

-D


 

 

Lesson of the Week

 

 

If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.

 

 

 

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