Lessons Of The Week

 

Lessons Of The Week

 

 

Something I’m starting is going to be a Lesson of the week… Every week on the same day (Sunday) I’m going to be writing a lesson of the week… feel free to email me with specific lessons you want to learn, and if it gets enough buzz then I’ll be sure to post it!! Keep in mind that this might be old for some and new to others, if you don’t learn something new in this post, email me with something you’d like to learn about and I’ll throw it up here… Enjoy!!

So to kick it off, here’s your first lesson: Current Step, Next Step; The Formula For Congruency

A lot of times I ask guys on workshops these questions, 1) What do you think went well in that set? and 2) Where did things go wrong? And I’ll get a shit ton of different responses like, well 1) I opened well, didn’t hesitate, smiled, spoke loud and clear, made eye contact, etc.. and then for #2 the answer is almost always the same. “I ran out of things to say after the opener.” Then I’ll ask, “Do you have any of the transitions we gave you memorized, or in your phone for a quick sneak peak?” or even “Did you ask her where she was from or what the occasion was?”, they’ll say yes and recite a stock transition, or say “no I didn’t ask her that.” The  problem here is HAVING AN AGENDA.

(This is common in a lot of other stages as well…attraction role plays, teasing her, qualifying questions, Using Braddock’s Trigger words and Inverse Trigger Words, and just through out the entire interaction.)

Having an agenda does a couple things:

– Gets you in your head thinking, ok what do I say next, how am I going to get this girl to give me the outcome I want (a laugh, a smile, to qualify, go to the bar, to kiss me, leave with me, etc..)

– Makes you come across “In-Congruent’” which is a HUGE TURN OFF to women…the basis of game is to be as authentic as possible, with knowing the correct buttons to push on each girl…not memorizing a bunch of lines and routines to “get” girls to act a certain way.

– It show’s that you’re focusing too much on the end result, something that is say, 10 steps down the line.  In life they say, the more you want something the more likely you’ll get it…while this is true, when it comes to dealing with people this statement is anything but true.  Focusing on your end result before/when starting will get you blown out faster than a New Jersey haircut (sorry Calabrese ;-) )

Here’s the simple formula to solve this problem of “HAVING AN AGENDA”:

30,000 foot view ;Current Step ; Next Step.

That’s it…just know a basic structure of the model (open, transitions, attract, qual, etc..) what you’re current step is, and then what your next step is and focus on that.  So instead of thinking… “Damn that girl is hot, I want to talk to her, ok what is my opener, ok what am I going to say next, ok what if she says this, then what will I say, ok then what role play am I going to use, ok how am I going to qualify her, ok, when and how am I going to touch her… etc…” Just think… current step, find hot girl, next step, approach hot girl….then now that you’ve approached you can update your current and next step.  Current step is to transition, next step is to tease/roleplay with her, and follow that model… so now that you’ve gotten into a marriage role play or something, re-assess..

Current step: make jokes of things in the role play, divorce/kids/cooking/family vacations to weird places/how she’s always trying to change you and dress you up/ other shit that married couples go thru

Next step: maybe you’re working on sexual hoops so your current step is to bring up something sexual in your marriage “This would never work out, it’d just be all fights and make up sex” (credit Braddock) and next step

Life is like a Giant staircase, the next step is always lit, but you canâ??t see ten steps up ahead.  So most people want to know what they should do for that 10th step and where they should go, and will think â??Well if I donâ??t know where Iâ??m going I donâ??t want to take the next step.â? But by taking that next step, you light up the next one, and then you take that and then the next one, etcâ?¦

Your brain can only hold one conscious thought at a time, so by telling it to worry about something 10 steps ahead, you’re going to not be able to focus on the current one.

Exercise for you to do… write down your steps… if you’re having trouble, here’s an example of mine:

(me in italics, girl in bold)

Step1: find hot gal

Step2: approach — Hey you are fuckin sexy, who are you? ::: Hi, I’m Jessica

Step3: Dubbsy’s “Dating Transition” — Ok sweet, we got the first date out of the way :-) ::: Haha! First Date?

Step4: Role Play/set sexual frames for Same Night Lay — Yeah I heard it takes girls 3 dates to put out, so I’m just trying to get thru them faster ::: OMG haha, who told you that? I’ve got my sources…so our second date can beeee over there (point and move)… (they usually just smile or laugh here) … So I guess we can get to know each other now, but make this quick I want to get to the 3rd one, I’ve been practicing my kisses

Step5: start qualifying — So who are you, tell me something about you I wouldn’t know just from looking at you (credit Braddock)

etc…

Hope this formula helps clarify the same way it did for me!

Next Lesson is up for debate: Email me @ Dubbsy@lovesystems.com with your vote and the lesson with the highest count will be posted next..

– Most common sticking points and how to solve them

– Giving Transitioning a Face Lift

– Sexual Hoops (concept outlined and defined by Braddock and Dahunter)

Till then, remember, there is no way to look cool picking up a frisbee

-D


 

 

Lesson of the Week

 

 

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